Friday, July 24, 2015

I will tell you the truth...

Today is our final day in Munich and we're not even going to be in the city.  Thats right, we are taking a train and a bus to head further south to see the castle that inspired Disney.  We were hoping that the trip to the alps would provide some relief from the heat.  We were wrong, very wrong.

Anyway we decided to take a tour vs having to figure out transportation etc for the day trip we wanted to make.  We also thought it might be nice to have a guide inform us about some of the things we were about to see.  It is with this in mind that we found ourselves on a train through Bavaria with a guide named Shaffeno.

Lucky for us we had about 2 hours of travel time which meant we had 2 hours of Q&A time with Shaffeno.  He started by asking us all our names & how to spell them (turns out he had to list us on our rail passes as purchased by the tour company) we then asked him his name and he provided it along with how to spell it.  He then informed us that it is not his job to tell us anything but if we asked him questions he would answer.  To quote the man he actually said "I will tell you the truth but you will not like it".  Our tour was beginning to get interesting.

I'm finding it difficult to articulate how odd and peculiar this man was, lets just say we found him entertaining for reasons he will never understand and could possibly be described as a curmudgeon.  He didn't like the question I asked and he quite rudely told me "you don't ask me personal questions I won't ask you personal questions".  Well shoot I had only asked where he was from because on the prior question in which he was asked if he had a favorite German city/town he gave us a 5 minute diatribe about why he did not like any town or city in Germany.  It made one think that perhaps he himself was not German.  I only bring this up to articulate the man's peculiarities.

He quickly grew bored of our questions and began asking us questions.  One was, do you know who built the castle.  The train sat silent...It was then that he began to pace up and down the aisleway asking everyone, whether they were on the tour or not if they knew who built the castle.  Finally one of my friends broke the akward silence and provided the answer, Leudwig.  The questioning went on..."do you know why he built the castle"; "do you think he had a wife" etc.  At one point everybody on the train was afraid to make eye contact.  At one point he told us not to be stupid and to use our brains.  He also told us it was not his job to provide us with any answers.

The man must have realized that he wasn't going to get many more answers from the group which had been silenced by fear.  It is at this point he asked me if King Leudwig was a legitimate king/ruler.  I had made the ultimate error in judgement...when he addressed me I looked up and established eye contact.  I sat there afraid to move and even more afraid to look away as it was obvious that I had heard him speak.  In my hesitation to answer such an obviously loaded question Sheffano answered himself with a resounding "no".  He stated that Leudwig's father had Syfilous and couldn't have children, therefore he had an Italian knock up the queen...not just once but 2 times (it was at this point the man made 2 quick thrusting motions with his forearm to emphasize his point).  I was totally screwed at this point as 2 of my travel friends completely lost any composure and started laughing hysterically.  Sheffano continued on his conspiracy theory speaking above the laughter and went on to explain that not only did he not have proper lineage to rule, but he himself had no wife because he enjoyed the company of young men...18 to be specific.  My friends then continued to laugh and now even those not in my group of friends began laughing.  I however was stuck in an unbearable eye lock with the man.  Luckily he walked away shortly after and allowed us to travel the remainder of the journey in peace.

All I can say about our tour guide was that he was indeed a character who has given us many laughs during and since our trip to the castle.

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